


Sirens

by poedamerainbow



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bottom Poe Dameron, Enemies to Lovers, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, M/M, NSFW, Oral Sex, POV Finn (Star Wars), Rough Sex, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow to admit feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 11:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21493867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poedamerainbow/pseuds/poedamerainbow
Summary: "The instructions were clear ; the same as always. After all, his job was always the same. Some very rich guy gave him a lot of money, and a name. All he had to do was to find the guy, and wipe him away from earth. Pretty easy. At least, that’s what Finn thought."
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sapphicxrey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicxrey/gifts).

The instructions were clear ; the same as always. After all, his job was always the same. Some very rich guy gave him a lot of money, and a name. All he had to do was to find the guy, and wipe him away from earth. Pretty easy. At least, that’s what Finn thought.  
His new client had asked to meet him in some bar downtown. Finn knew the place : the guy was not an amator. The bar was in an old building, owned by a man who had his reputation. Cops never came there.  
He had done quick researches about his customer : he was a politician. Finn wasn’t supposed to know that - people never gave him real identities for obvious reasons - but in his profession, he had learned how to get reliable sources. He liked to know more about his customers. It made things more exciting. Even after several years, he still always wondered : “Why is this guy ready to pay so much money to get rid of someone ?”, and also, “why not doing it himself ?” ; and the answers to those questions always made the job unpredictable.  
When he finally found his client, sitting in the corner of the room, glass of whiskey in one hand, he quickly joined him. No need to glance at the room : he knew that there was no cameras. The witnesses were not a problem, since they were all too drunk to remember his face. The man clearly knew what he was doing.  
He sat in front of his client. Young, but older than Finn, pale, long black hair. Dressed in a black suit. I could have sworn he saw him on tv once. But that was none of his business.

“Want something to drink ?” Asked his customer’s very deep voice.  
“I’m good. No drink on business.”  
“That’s exactly why I hired you.”  
“I’m not hired yet. Your contact told me your offer was pretty complicated. I need to know more before i make my mind up.”

His client smiled. A mischievous, evil smile, that would have frightened anyone - except a cold-hearted hitman.

“We don’t know his name.” Started the man. “He is a spy, for a sort of rebel group that has been organizing huge protests against my party. He goes by the name of ‘Black leader’. I don’t have any pictures of him either, but I can give a description of him.”  
“Go ahead.”  
“He is short. Tan. Black haired, with curls. Black eyes.”  
“That… is pretty common.” Replied Finn, eyebrows frowned.

The man sighted, and finished his whiskey in one sip. 

“How am I supposed to catch a guy without even a picture ?”  
“Well, I have something for you.”

Finn could see in the eyes of the man that he was very, very proud of himself. 

“I did a part of the job already. I set him up. He thinks he has a meeting with some very important rebel tomorrow, at 10. You will find the address in this file.” He explained, pointing at a pile of paper.

Finn frowned his eyebrows a bit more. This was shady, and could have been a trap. Normally, he would have never gotten himself into this kind of mess. But there was still one question he had not asked ; the most decisive one.

“How much ?”  
“One million dollar.”

He tried his best not to look to puzzled. He was used to big offers. But never that big. Just when he was about to ask the man if he was actually serious, he started speaking again.

“I can give you 100 000 now. I just… need him dead really quickly.”

Finn took some time to think about it. Without risks, his job would be pointless. And, let’s face it, who would say no to an exciting mission with big money at the end of the line ?

“Ok. I’m in.”  
__________________________

Finn was sincerely reconsidering his decision, the morning after. It was almost 10, and he was hiding in the abandoned building where his client said Black Leader would be. He had found the perfect spot, from where he could see the whole room without taking any risks. He had studied the building, and decided that he was going to shoot his victim. The area was too large, and trying to fight him hand-to-hand seemed too risky.  
Finn checked his watch. When it stroke 10, he heard the sound of the door opening. He held his breath. Footsteps. Stop. Couple footsteps. Stop. Finally, he could see the shape of the guy. Slowly, to avoid making any sound, he moved his weapon to aim at him. He couldn’t clearly see his face. But it was not important : black curls, short guy. It was him.

“Hello ? Is someone here ?” Yelled Black Leader.

Finn grinned. That guy was stupid. Ran into a trap. That was the easiest money he ever made. Maybe he could even retire for a while.  
Without asking himself more questions, he aimed at the man’s chest. The guy seemed a bit lost. But he wasn’t moving. Which made the whole thing even easier. So Finn just pulled the trigger. And a few seconds later, Black Leader dropped dead on the floor. 

Finn was torn between two feelings : the happiness of earning so much money without effort, and the impression that something was off. It had been too easy. Who would offer one million for a person so easy to kill ?  
And then, he heard someone clapping.

“Congratulations, mister Hitman ! You are completely stupid.”

Finn lifted his head, looking for where the voice came from, but the echo in the building made it impossible to tell. By the time he lowered his head, the man on the floor was gone. Must have worn a bulletproof vest. Shit. He knew it. He should’ve known better. 

“You really thought that I was going to fall for Ren’s ridiculous trap ? That man is as stupid as he is tall. And you saw him. He is really tall.”

Finn couldn’t see from where the sound came from. And it was on purpose. That Black Leader was toying with him. And he hated that. He took his gun back.  
And the other guy just laughed.

“How would you shoot me ? You don’t know where I am ! You don’t know how I look ! You don’t even know my name ! You’re just a silly guy who wanted to make big money.”  
“Show yourself, coward.” Tried Finn.  
“Oh, I am the coward ? You just hid to shoot a dude because he had curly hair. I am offended, by the way. Mine looks better than that.”  
“How could I know ?” Asked Finn.  
“That’s a good point ! See ? You can be smart sometimes.”

Finn was in rage. At this very moment, it was not even about the money anymore. He wanted to kill that guy, because he was seriously getting on his nerves. 

“Ok. I’m gonna go now.” Announced Black Leader.

And that was when Finn finally saw him. His victim got out of the shadow, standing right next to him. Without hesitation, Finn aimed ; but in less than a second, Black Leader disappeared.  
Finn just got the time to remember his face.


	2. Chapter 2

Finn was standing in a phone booth. He still had not dialed the number of his customer - Ren, as Black Leader called him. He did not know how to explain his failure, and his anger was growing wider. Finn never failed. He always managed to find the best place, the best weapon, the best moment. Finn never missed his shot.   
But that fucking Black Leader got him. Honestly, he knew he could only blame himself. He underestimated his victim, and thought that his client had more than one brain cell : clearly, he was wrong on both of these statements. He sighted. He could already hear that idiot at the other end of the line, accusing Finn of failing. As if he was the one to blame. He only accepted a job.  
Before he even started dialing the number, he heard a knock on the door of the phone booth. 

“Wait a sec !” Yelled Finn without turning around, already pissed off enough.

Silence. He assumed that the person was gone. He started composing the numbers. And the person knocked again. This time, Finn turned around, ready to unleash all his anger on the stranger ; and then, he saw him.  
In front of him, behind the plastic door. A face he learned to know in the morning. A face he did his best not to forget. Right there, in front of him. Smiling, a sardonic smile. He even waved at him before opening the door and entering into the small cabin.

“Hello, Mister Hitman.”  
“What the hell are you doing here ?”  
“I was just chilling. Walking across the neighborhood. And then I saw you, so I thought I could come and say hi.”  
“You know that I am supposed to kill you, right ?”  
“Oh, what are you going to do ? Shoot me in the middle of the street ? Blow my brain up in a phone booth ? That one million dollar won’t be worth anything if you end up in jail, buddy.”  
“I’m not your buddy.” Grumbled Finn.  
“Oh, c’mon ! I am not resentful. You tried to kill me, fine. We can still be buds.”

Finn clenched his fists. Black Leader was watching him with a knowing grin, dark eyes detailing every inch of Finn’s face. He was looking at him with such emphasis, that it actually made Finn feel uncomfortable. That guy had a pretty deep gaze. The kind that seemed to pierce your soul. Finn got himself back together.

“Why are you doing this ?” Asked Finn.  
“Doing what ?”  
“Playing with me like that.”  
“I don’t know. It’s fun I guess. That’s the first time I’m on someone’s most wanted. It’s exciting.”  
“Someone wants you dead.”  
“And he is not the only one. Wait till you meet his deputy. Tall guy, ginger, face always red. He looks like a child who just saw his ice-cream falling on the floor. Funny guy, I like him.”

Finn wanted to move. To get out of this nightmare. But the booth was small, and the guy’s body was taking every inch of space left, and was blocking the door. Finn felt caught. Trapped. He almost smiled at the irony. The tables had turned.

“You never ask yourself, if the guy you kill is the good one ?” Requested Black Leader.  
“What do you mean ?” Replied Finn, on edge.  
“You never wonder if you might end up killing the good guy ? What if the guy who deserved to be shot was your client ?”  
“Honestly ? I don’t care. I won’t kill the one who pay my rent.”

Black Leader laughed. Finn was putting much effort into not beating him up. That little brat - even if the guy seemed a bit older than him - was giving him the gears. His brain was working fast, looking for a quick, subtle way to kill him. Right now. But they were in the middle of a street, trapped behind clear walls. 

“You seem tensed. You should relax a bit. When you kill me and get that money, take some vacations somewhere. If you ever kill me…”  
“I will.” Assured Finn. “I never, ever failed a job, and that’s not gonna start with your bitchy ass.”  
“Wow. I like that energy. Maybe you stand a chance, after all. But don’t get your hopes up. Lemme remind you that you walked straight into my trap, this morning.”

Finn looked at Black Leader’s neck. He could picture it so clearly. His hand grabbing it. His fingers covering his whole throat. Pressing. Harder. He could almost feel his fingers buried in his skin, pressing harder and harder, choking him until he had no breath left. It would feel so good to take his last breath with his bare hands. Their bodies were so close already. Would people in the street even notice his hand on his neck ? Maybe if he moved closer to him, his body would hide the agony of the guy.   
He moved slightly ; and in less than a second, Black Leader pushed him, grabbed his wrists in one of his hands, and pinned him against the plastic wall. Finn could feel his heavy breath on his face. Black Leader’s gaze was locked into his, looking dead serious. Finn held his own breath. He could not move anymore ; the other guy’s body was pressed against his, blocking him.

“What were you thinking ?” His enemy whispered. “I thought you were more subtle.”

His free hand came for Finn’s neck. Five fingers, pressing just a bit his skin. Finn held his gaze. It was not the right time to show weakness.

“That’s what you were thinking about, weren’t you ?” He asked, pressing his fingers a bit harder on Finn’s neck, still not enough to actually suffocate him. “You were going to choke me dead right here ? I don’t know if you are really bold or really stupid. Maybe both. No offense, buddy.”

Even if his words were light, his tone was giving Finn shivers. Or maybe it was the five fingers pressing on his neck. Or maybe even the face that was just a inch apart of his, with a look of someone ready to kill him.  
After what seemed like forever, Black Leader let go of his throat. He opened the door, and before he left the phone booth, he turned to Finn. His knowing grin was back.

“Oh, by the way. My name is Poe Dameron. And you will never catch me.”


	3. Chapter 3

Finn did not even think about taking some time to rest. He smashed the door of the booth open, and ran after the guy. Poe. His name was Poe. Why on earth would he give his name ? The answer was pretty clear : Dameron knew that his name would not be even slightly useful to Finn, and giving it to him just proved how much ahead of him he was.  
Finn was always a good runner. He always was the fastest. When he was still in the army - that seemed like forever ago - his superior officers were always impressed by this ability. So, he ran. He ran after Dameron. Dameron who seemed to be not even nearly as fast as Finn. But Finn had learned his lesson : never underestimating that guy. Finn was not going to think he got him until he actually got him.   
Of course, since he was not thinking about the possibility of his target knocking at his door, he had no weapon with him. It would have been so easy. He was right there, running just a few steps ahead of him. He could have shot him already at least three hundred times. But no. He was going to have to catch him, and to kill him with his bare hands.  
Finn always prefered using weapons. Guns. Even knives, when he had no other choices. Killing someone with his fists always seemed more involving. With a weapon, there was something between him and the victim.   
He was getting closer. He could almost smell Dameron’s perfume - that he could recognize after that moment in the phone booth. Poe turned his head a bit, and Finn saw it. The glimpse of fear in his victim’s eyes. It made him grin. Finally, he was in the role of the hunter, not the sheep. Finally, Dameron saw him as something more than a joke.   
Exhilarated by this little proof of weakness, Finn sped up. And finally, after a few minutes of chasing him, he caught Dameron by the arm. He squeezed it so hard, his fingers were going to leave a mark.

“Congrats ! You run fast !”  
“Shut up.” Answered Finn through gritted teeths.

Finn pushed him against a wall. The street was empty. Good. Finally, he was going to be able to get rid of that insufferable bastard.  
Trapped under his body, Dameron was his prisoner. But he did not look even slightly afraid. He was looking at him with that big dumb smile on his face, with a charming look that could have worked on Finn. But his hatred was too violent. He hated being taken as a fool. Killing him was going to feel like a true relief. 

“You think I’m gonna shut up ? You will have to kill me.”  
“That kinda is my plan.”  
“Ok, can I say something first ?” Poe did not wait for an answer. “You are an handsome guy.”

Poe’s words distracted Finn for a second. Just a tiny second. And yet, it was enough for Dameron to smash his fist on Finn’s cheek. He stepped back without even noticing it, an hand over his now bleeding mouth. Poe tried to escape, and started to run. But Finn managed to compose himself, and violently pushed him. Dameron fell on the floor.   
Poe groaned. In nose was bleeding. Finn walked to him and sat astride on his chest. There he was. Trapped.

“You think you are so smart, huh ?” Asked Finn, with mixed anger and pride.  
“Maybe because I am.”  
“Well, looks like you are losing.”  
“Oh, I’m not dead yet, baby.”

Finn laughed. But something in Poe’s gaze told him that something was off. That he had a way to get himself out of this. Finn had to get rid of him quickly.  
So, just as he had fantasized about, he grabbed Poe’s neck. He could feel his pulse, fast, under his fingers. His thumb was touching Dameron’s jaw. His hand was covering his whole throat. It felt delightful. He was under his control. And Finn liked it so much.   
Poe moaned when Finn started to press his hand on his throat. One of his hands tried to move, but Finn grabbed it, and pinned it on the floor. He pressed harder on the neck. He could feel how fast his pulse was getting. He could see the pain in Dameron’s eyes. He could hear his panic in the little moans his throat could still let out.   
And just when he thought he had won, he felt a sudden, vivid pain in his thigh. He screamed and backed off in a instinct. That’s when he saw the knife in Poe’s free hand. 

“Son of a bitch !”  
“Leave my mom out of this.” Replied Poe between two coughs, his voice raspy.

His victim managed to sit. Finn needed to forget the pain in his flesh ; Dameron was weak. It was time to finish the job. So he threw himself at him, and hit Poe right in the face. His enemy might be weak, but his response was immediate : he hit Finn in the stomach, so hard he stopped breathing for a second. Dameron was still coughing, a streak of blood on his chin. 

“What did I say : you will never catch me, Mister Hitman !”  
“My name is Finn !”

As soon as he had spoken, he felt stupid. “Sure, next time, give him your address”, whispered a voice in his head. But he hated that feeling. In the army, he hated being called by his insignia. It felt so inhuman. It made him feel like he was not a person. He was not “The hitman”. He was not “FN-2187”. He was Finn.  
Through the blood and the sweat, Poe still managed to smile. Bright smile, revealing a perfect row of white teeth. Even his eyes seemed to literally sparkle. How could this idiot look so beautiful when he just escaped death ?

“Nice to meet you, Finn !”  
“Fuck you !”  
“Oh, you’re mad because I stabbed you ? Relax. It wasn’t a good knife. I can take care of the wound if you want.” He added with a knowing wink.  
“Shut up !”  
“Oh c’mon, you’re the one who started to get kinky. Choking me ? On the second date ? Not really gentleman’s behavior.”

Poe was now standing, arms crossed on his chest. Finn was facing him. He could feel the tension rising between them, crippling, he could hear nothing but Poe’s breath, he could also feel it, his face only a few inches apart from his. And then, Dameron did something Finn had not seen coming : he grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer, so their foreheads were touching. Finn’s lips parted in astonishment. 

“I told you. You’re never gonna catch me, Finn.” He whispered, putting the emphasis on his name. “It’s fun, you chasing me and all of that. But I have other things to do. So just drop off. If Ren wants me dead, he will have to try to fucking do it by himself. Because I will never, ever letting myself being killed by you. Or by anyone else.”

And then Poe released him, letting Finn fall on the concrete. Before he even had the time to lift his head, Dameron was gone. Again.


	4. Chapter 4

It had started as a regular job. Now, it felt like an hunt. It had been a week since Finn’s last encounter with Dameron. His wound was healed, but his anger had turned into rage. It was not about the money anymore. He wanted Dameron dead even more than Ren did.   
So, he decided to use all the weapons he had, starting with his sources. He knew people. And those people knew people. And so one. Finn was patient, and ready to sacrifice some days of his life, even a week, just to find Poe.  
Ren called him, at some point. Finn just told him the truth, without going into further details. He even accepted to lower his price a bit, because of the wait. He did not care. Knowing that Dameron was dead was already the best reward he could get.  
He could not figure out why he hated Dameron so much. He never had such strong feelings towards his victims. He never felt anything for them. No pity, no guilt, no hate. Nothing. So, why was that so different with Poe ? Maybe it was his attitude. Maybe it was how hard it was to kill him. Or maybe it was something else, more complex, that he rathered not think about. He needed to focus.  
Bit by bit, Finn started to collect little infos about Dameron. Step by step, he was getting closer to him. Until finally, the pieces clipped together. He had an address. He cheap hotel where he was almost sure to find Dameron. He even had the number of his room. He felt pure glee ; finally.

“I’m coming for you, you little bitch.” Whispered Finn.  
_________

He was there. Inside Dameron’s room. Picking a lock was one of his talents, and in a hotel that cheap, the door was pretty easy to open. When he came in, Dameron was not there. So he just sat on the bed. And waited.  
He had plenty of time to observe the room. There were not many personal belongings, except for a few clothes - with many jackets - and some used books. On his bedside table, there was a picture ; a woman and a man, who looked a bit like Poe, holding a baby. Finn dropped the picture as soon as he understood what it was. He did not wanted to feel empathy for that guy.  
The pain on his thigh when he moved reminded him of why he wanted to kill Dameron. Why he hated him. He pat down the pillow, just to make sure that the gun and the silencer he had hidden beneath were still there.   
And then he heard them. The footsteps in the hallway. Quickly, he stood up and ran to the closet. He just had the time to hide in it before he heard the sound of the key in the lock. He held his breath, listening to every small sound in the room. There he was. Poe was in. Click. Dameron locked the door. Trapping himself without even knowing it.  
Finn did not allow him to move further into the room : he pushed the door and jumped on Poe, falling on the ground with him. Poe screamed, out of shock and pain. Finn quickly covered his mouth with his hand.

“Hello, Mister Dameron. So good to see you.”

Even when he tried, Finn could not manage to sound as fake friendly as Poe. He still sounded like someone ready to commit a cold-blooded murder. Which he was, to be fair. He pressed his hand on Dameron’s mouth. He could feel the shape of it so clearly. He could also feel how Poe’s lips parted against his fingers. Finn felt a shiver down his spin.  
And then, Poe violently bit his skin.  
Finn screamed, pulling his hand off. Poe took advantage of the situation, and pushed Finn to free himself. Dameron stood up, and only a second after, Finn did the same. The adrenaline made him forget all type of pain.   
He grabbed Poe by the collar, tightening it so firmly his knuckles turned pale. He looked at Poe dead in the eyes. Poe held his gaze. 

“So, looks like you found me.”  
“Said the dumbass who gave me his name.”  
“You gave me yours.” Answered Dameron.  
“I’m pretty sure that there are other Finns on this planet. But you are one of a kind. People notice you. With your annoying manners, your big mouth and your fake charming prince look.”  
“Looks like you observed me.”

Poe’s last sentence had been a whisper, so close to Finn’s face. He moved forward a bit to pin Dameron against the wall, grabbing his two wrists in one hand. There was not an inch of their bodies that were not touching - except their faces. Even if they also were deadly close.

“So.. What do you want to use, this time ?” Whispered Poe, with his low, deep voice. “Gun ? Knife ? Or those beautiful hands of yours ?”  
“Shut up.”  
“Am I distracting you ?” Poe whispered again, getting his face closer to his in a mock teasing way.  
“I said shut up.”  
“Make. Me.”

Finn had nothing : no tape, no fabric, nothing he could use to gag him. So he used the only thing that could work : his mouth.  
He kissed Poe with all the violence, all the hate he felt towards him. He kissed him so harshly he bit Dameron’s lip. He felt a drop of blood spilling into his mouth. He kissed him so he would stop talking. But he could not say that he was not even slightly enjoying it.  
And what amazed him the most was that Dameron returned the kiss. With the same passion. The same violence. The same anger. His victim even moaned against his mouth, kissing him deeper. Which actually made Finn groan.  
Finn pulled back, and Dameron’s lips stayed parted for a couple of seconds. Before Finn could even catch his breath, Poe managed to free his hands, and with all of his strength, pushed him on the ground. Finn fell, and watched with horror his target reaching to the pillow. “Maybe hiding the gun was not a good idea, after all”, he thought. But it was too late. Poe was already aiming at him, looking dead serious. 

“Ok. Enough playing. You might be an incredible kisser, but that doesn’t mean you can come to my room to blow my brain up. With a silencer ? You fucking coward. It was going to take them days to find me. Can you imagine the smell ?”

Finn stood silent. Poe Dameron might be an idiot ; but he was now an idiot with a gun.

“So, i’m just gonna grab my stuff. And leave. And you won’t run after me. Because if you do, I will blow your brain up. Understood ?”  
“Why don’t you kill me ?” Asked Finn.  
“Because first of all, I’m not a killer. And second of all…”

Poe approached Finn, and with his free hand, grabbed his hair and pulled his head a little backwards, so they were facing each other. Dameron looked at him in the eyes, and then, his gaze went down on his lips. He bit his own, which might be - and he hated to admit it - the most attractive thing Finn ever saw. Dameron leaned his head, approaching his face from Finn’s neck.

“I like to keep things… interesting.” Whispered Poe in his ear.


	5. Chapter 5

Finn made the mistake to underestimate Poe. But his enemy clearly made the same fault. He was a former soldier. If someone was used to disarm people, it was him. So, as soon as Poe turned his back at him, Finn jumped on him and quickly took back the gun from Poe’s hands. Dameron started to curse, and Finn grabbed his chin, holding him tight.  
Poe opened his mouth to speak ; Finn shoved the barrel of the gun in it before he got the chance to say a word. He felt Dameron’s jaw tense under his fingers. Was he shaking ? Or maybe it was Finn ? Their bodies were so close that he could not tell anymore. But he could feel Poe’s fear. By the way he was trying to get the gun out of his mouth. By how his jaw was shaking under his fingers. 

“How are you going to save your ass, this time ?” Whispered Finn in his ear.

He knew he had to kill him. Now. But it felt so good, to have him under his grip. To be the one to play with him. He shoved the barrel just a bit deeper in his mouth, making Poe trying to scream. He smiled.

“You have no idea how good it feels when you finally shut up. If I knew that it was so easy, I would’ve done it earlier.”

Poe was breathing fast. Finn saw that he had closed his eyes. 

“Oh c’mon, Dameron. Don’t tell me that you are afraid. A guy like you isn’t afraid of death.”

Finn knew it was time to pull the trigger. It was so easy. He just had to tilt his head to stay safe, and pull this damn trigger. Watch Poe’s lifeless body fall on the ground. It was so easy. And yet. Yet Dameron was still alive, trembling in his arms, letting out muffled cries.   
Finn had won. He only had to pull the trigger, bring the body to Ren, and enjoy his well earned money. So why was he hesitating ? He was grabbing Poe’s jaw so hard, he could feel his fingers digging into his skin.  
Before he had time to figure it out, Poe grabbed the gun, and pulled it out of his mouth. Finn groaned and aimed at his head, but Dameron punched the weapon, making it fall on the ground. Finn felt his rage coming back. He slammed Poe against the wall, and ran to his gun. But Poe was faster, and he jumped on Finn, putting all of his weight on him to make him fall on the ground.  
Finn fell on his back, Poe on top of him, squeezing his wrists. Dameron’s eyes looked wild, his curls were a sweaty, tangled mess, and the corner of his mouth was bleeding. The whole picture was weirdly hot - Finn shook this thought off. 

“I knew you wanted to do things to my mouth, but I wasn’t expecting that.” Snapped Poe.  
“Shut up.”  
“Why didn’t you pull the trigger ?”  
“Shut. Up.”  
“No, no, honey, I don’t think so.” Retorted Poe. “You’re gonna answer my question, Finn. Why didn’t you kill me ?”  
“I don’t know ! Ok ? I don’t have a fucking idea, and now I really regret it !”

Poe’s smile turned into a toothy grin. He leaned to get his face closer to Finn’s, holding his gaze. Finn felt his own breath getting heavy. At this moment, he was painfully conscious of the weight of Poe’s body on his waist. Of the skin of his palms on his wrists. Finn felt dizzy, overwhelmed with contradictory feelings.

“You couldn’t kill me.” Whispered Poe, the tip of his nose brushing Finn’s.  
“Stop…”  
“Stop what ?”  
“Wha… what you’re doing. Stop that.”  
“I’m not doing anything.” Claimed Dameron, his mouth only a inch apart of Finn’s.

It was driving Finn crazy. All of it. His body on his, his mouth so close, his grip on his wrists. He wasn’t able to think anymore. He needed to compose himself. He needed to focus on his goal : free himself. Beating Dameron up. Killing him.

But feeling that idiot’s breath on his lips was making things somewhat complicated.

Dameron bit his lip. Again. And Finn wanted to slap himself for looking. Poe grinned.

“What are you looking at ?”

His voice was a murmur. Finn could only hear it because of how close his mouth was. Finn locked his eyes in his. He wanted to answer, but his throat was swollen. He could not tell if the hammering heart that was beating so fast was his or Poe’s. 

“Dameron…”

Moving his mouth made his lip brush against Poe’s. He shivered. 

“What ?” Breathed Dameron.

Finn swallowed. Was it is imagination, or where Poe’s lips getting closer to his ? Finn could not help but close his eyes. Sunk into the darkness, he could only feel the blood-wet lip of Dameron brushing against his, without really touching it. It felt like a pure torture, and the memory of the kiss they shared made it even more painful. 

“Please…” Whispered Finn.

He did not know what he was asking. Please, stop and let me kill you ? Please, kiss me until I’m not able to breath ?

“Please what ?” Teased Poe.

Fuck it. Finn caught his lips between his.


	6. Chapter 6

WARNING : this chapter is NSFW, if you are not confortable with that skip to chapter 7 !

______________________

The instructions were clear ; the same as always. And it certainly did not include : “have sex with your target”. And yet, there he was.  
As soon as they started kissing, it felt like they were never going to stop. Their kiss was harsh, even more violent than the first they shared. Finn felt the little cut on Poe’s lip, and bit it, making Dameron moan loudly.   
Finn managed to free his hands. He could have taken advantage of it to hurt Dameron. But he could not think about such thing, when Poe was kissing him like that, his tongue twisting around his, teeths pinching his lip. So, instead of escaping, his hand grabbed Poe’s curls, pulling his head backwards to get a good access to his neck. He kissed every inch of Dameron’s skin, biting it so hard he was going to leave bruises. Poe’s moans encouraged him to keep going.  
He could sense all the hate he felt towards him pouring into his kisses. There was nothing soft about their embrace. It was as if they could not help it, as if their bodies were meant to find each other even if their minds were enemies. His brain was useless. Incapable to think. The only thing that mattered was Poe’s body pressing against his. And how badly he wanted him.  
Poe caught Finn’s thighs, pressing his fingers in his flesh. Finn wrapped his legs around Poe’s waist, and let himself be lifted in the hair, squeezed against his chest, still pulling his curls hard.  
And he kissed him again, and again, and again. He kissed him with a deadly passion, as if he could have suffocate him with his mouth. Poe was sure as hell a good kisser, and the way he moved his tongue with his made Finn wail several times.  
Poe dropped him on the bed, and Finn hit the mattress with a groan. He reached for Poe’s shirt, ripped off the buttons - and the fabric as well. He threw the ruined shirt on the floor, and as a revenge, Poe grabbed the collar of Finn’s t-shirt and ripped it from top to bottom.   
Finn decided to take the lead, and pushed Poe to put his body under his. He sat on Poe’s waist, and smiled in a teasing way when he felt that he was hard. He slowly rubbed his bottom on Poe’s crotch, making him moan even louder than before. He leaned to him, his hand on Dameron’s cheek.

“Convince me to keep you alive.” Whispered Finn, his voice heavy with undertones.

Poe smiled, and opened his mouth, catching Finn’s thumb between his teeths. He closed his mouth on his fingers, holding Finn’s gaze while he slowly passed his tongue on it, moving his lips around it, sucking it too arouse him. And it clearly worked. Finn felt his own crotch growing painfully against Poe’s. And of course, Poe felt it. He took Finn’s finger out of his mouth, and looked at him with the hottest gaze ever.

“Take off your pants.” Ordered Poe.

Finn executed, even if his shaky fingers were giving him a hard time. Once he was freed from his pants, Poe placed his hands on his lower back, pressing it to make him move closer to him.

“Come here.” He breathed, tilting his head a bit to look at him.

Finn approached to bring his crotch next to Poe’s mouth. Dameron grabbed his butt abruptly, scratching his skin with his nails. He looked at him once again, and something in Poe’s eyes made Finn shiver with lust.  
Without letting go of his gaze, Poe started to kiss Finn’s tensed skin, playing with his tongue on it. Finn groaned, clutching his fingers on Poe’s hair. Slowly, his lips slid on his hard-on, digging it into his mouth. Finn let out a high pitched scream, his head falling backwards, his lips parted.  
He closed his eyes when Poe started moving his mouth on him. He screamed when his tongue joined the movement. God, Dameron was good. Finn could feel every single nerve of his body tensing under Poe’s mouth. His hips were moving, shoving his dick deeper into Poe’s throat. He did not seemed to complain about it, and moved his lips further on him, sucking it whole.   
If he kept acting like that, Finn was going to come, right now. And he did not wanted that. He wanted to make Dameron his. Take him. Make him scream. Thrusting him so hard he could not walk for days. Even if he was not supposed to have other days to live…  
Grudgingly, Finn took his crotch out of Poe’s mouth. He stopped a second to look at him. His mouth was still wide open, lips swollen after the brutality of their kisses. His face was covered with sweat, blood and spit. His eyes were half closed with arousal. God. He looked even hotter that way.  
Finn quickly got rid of Poe’s jeans, grabbed his thighs and parted them. He caught his wrists in one hand, and pinned them over Poe’s head. He looked at his body. Strong. Beautiful. Appealing. He wanted to mark every inch of his perfect looking skin.   
He placed his waist between Poe’s thighs. He looked around quickly, and then faced Dameron.

“Do you have some…” Asked Finn.  
“Bedside drawer.” Answered Poe in a whisper.  
“You are well prepared.” Grinned Finn.  
“Well, you never know when an handsome murderer will want to get into your pants.”

Finn could not help but chuckle ; which made him blush. To hide his embarrassment, he kissed Poe, moving his lips tenderly - why was he being soft ? He banged his mouth against Poe, biting his lip, making him whine again.  
After preparing him, he digged himself into him. Dameron yelled some incomprehensible words, and his waist arched to allow Finn to thrust him. Finn started to move, hammering his waist against Poe’s. Finally unleashing all the raging feelings he felt since he first laid his eyes on Dameron. Each time Finn went back and forth inside of him, going deeper each time, Poe moaned, his head tilted backwards, giving a total access to his neck.  
Finn placed his hand on it, and started to squeeze ; not enough to hurt him, though. Just because it felt right. And regarding of the groan that was Poe’s answer, it seemed like it was right. Dameron opened his eyes, and their gaze met. And Finn could have sworn that he felt something pass between them.  
Finn kept thrusting inside of him. At some point, he felt that he had touched the point that was driving Poe crazy : he could sense his Adam’s apple move under his own skin, and his screams where getting louder. Against his chest, he could feel how hard Poe was - probably close to come.  
Finn’s own orgasm was only a few seconds away. So he digged himself into Poe again, giving all of his strength in those last moves. Poe was getting weaker below him, and Finn suddenly felt him come against his skin. That was all he needed to finally get on the edge : he came, screaming Dameron’s name as he grabbed the curls to pull it strongly.  
He let himself fall on the mattress, out of breath. Next to him, Poe was as much of a mess as he was. Outside, the sky had turned dark. Finn could not figure out why he just did what he did. And he rather not think about it.   
His instinct was telling him that now was the perfect time to finally kill Poe. He was weak, and Finn could have taken advantage of it. But he could not. He was so tired. Every single one of his muscles was hurting.  
He was so tired. And even if he really tried not to, he fell asleep, right next to his new arch-nemesis, who also happened to be his lover.

The instructions were clear ; the same as always. And it certainly did not include : “have sex with your target”. 

And yet, there he was.


	7. Chapter 7

Finn woke up alone, in an empty room. For a solid second, he wondered where he was ; but then, he remembered, and felt more stupid than ever.  
He was supposed to kill Dameron. He was supposed to bring his dead body to Ren. He was supposed to cash a huge amount of money, and be able to start a new life with it. But no. He screwed up. He slept with Dameron, fell asleep right next to him. He really was surprised that he was still alive. Any person in their right mind would have killed him in his sleep. Poe’s voice came back into Finn’s memory : “I’m not a killer”. Finn’s throat tightened. Poe had a chance to get rid of him, and saving himself. And yet, he spared his life.   
He shook the thought off. Poe did not kill him because he did not wanted to get his hands dirty, and chose to leave because it was easier, and that was it. It had nothing to do with the intense moment they shared ; moment Finn rathered not think about.   
And yet he could not stop thinking about it. About how good it felt, to kiss him, get a free access to his skin, to his body, to feel every part of him under his palms, to hear him moan, scream, and the shivers and the tremors.   
Finn threw a glance at the whole room. Empty. No more clothes, no more books, and, of course, no more pictures of the man, the woman and the baby. The only proof left of Dameron’s presence was his smell, heady, bewitching.   
Finn got up and started picking his clothes. He look at his ruined t-shirt, wondering how the hell he was going to get out of this room shirtless. And then, he slightly turned his head. On the chair back laid a white shirt. Finn carefully grabbed the fabric. A little sticky note had been placed on it.

“I guess you will need it.”

It smelled like him.

_____________

Walking fast down the street, Finn was looking for a phone booth - but also, he had to admit, he was also looking for that mess of black curls, even if he knew that even though Dameron was stupid, he was certainly not stupid enough to stay that close to the hotel.   
When he finally found one, he slid into it, and dialed the number Ren gave him. He still did not know if he was about to ask more time, or just abort the mission. It was as if he had totally forget the money. This mission was messing with his brain, hard, and he hated it.  
Ren did not pick up Finn’s first call. He dialed the number again, slightly annoyed, and waited again. Finally, he heard the noise of the line.

“I hope you have good news for me.” Fumed Ren.  
“Not really.”  
“What the hell !” Shouted his client. “It’s been more than a week now ! You told me you the job would be done last night !”  
“Got unlucky.”  
“You think you can fool me, kid ?” Finn could picture his gritted teeths. “You don’t know me. I’m one of the most influential politicians in this fucking country.”  
“I am aware. What do you think ? That I like failing ?” Growled Finn.  
“You are wasting my time. And my money. So let me tell you this : if Dameron is not dead by tomorrow night, you will be in huge trouble, kid. All I have to say is that you tried to kill me, and every country’s police will be after you.”  
“Is that a threat ?”  
“No. It’s a promise. You have two days.”

Ren hang up ; Finn smashed the phone against the booth’s wall. He had no choice. It was now a life or death matter. He was not used to this kind of situations. It was the first time he worked for someone that important ; his formers clients were jealous husbands wanting to eliminate their wives’ lovers, or greedy CEOs eliminating greedier CEOs.  
When did things got this bad ? His own life was now threatened, he lost his target, and he needed to murder the man with who he just shared a bed with in order to save himself.  
He needed to find Dameron. He had no time, and there was too much at stake. He could not go on a one week long hunt this time. He needed a faster solution. And he happened to have one.  
He knew someone. Another professional killer. He met her in his military days, and they kept in touch. As Finn only accepted small missions, she became more and more powerful, often working with the government.   
And she happened to owe him a favor. He never dared actually asking her anything, but now, it felt like a true gift. He checked the phone, relieved to see that it seemed to still work. He dialed the number, and a few seconds later, he heard her characteristic harsh british accent.

“Hello ?”  
“Rey.”  
“Finn ! Good to hear you. How are you ?”  
“Not great, actually. Rey, I need you.”  
“I’m listening.” Her tone turned serious.  
“I’m in trouble and… remember the favor you owe me ? I wasn’t planning on using it but…”  
“Cut the crap.”  
“I need to find a guy. Poe Dameron.”  
“Poe Dameron ? The rebel leader ?”  
“You know him ?” Puzzled Finn.  
“Many people want him dead. I wasn’t commissioned yet.”  
“Well, I was, and now my fucking life is in danger. I need to find him before tomorrow night.”  
“Ok. We’re gonna do this quickly. Meet me in two hours at Cantina. I will bring you everything I can find.”  
“Thank you. So much.” Finn sighted in relief.

When he hung up, his stomach was twitching. And he could not figure out why.  
__________

Finn was nervously playing with his glass of whiskey, looking at the entrance of the room, seeking Rey’s face in the crowd. He could not stop looking at his watch. Time seemed to go faster with the sword of Damocles hanging over his neck.  
Finally, he caught a glimpse of Rey’s chestnut hair, upheld in buns, as always. She was looking so young and soft ; that was what made her dangerous. Nobody distrusted her. People felt safe around her, until they felt the blade of her knife on their throats.   
She joined him, and did not lose time with small talk - and for that Finn was deeply grateful.

“That guy is pretty well hidden. He knows what he is doing. But I know where you can find him.”

She handed him a small sheet of paper. An address was written on it.

“It’s the base of his organization. That is where he was last seen, no later than this morning. It’s not that far, I can give you a ride.” She waved at her motorbike helmet. “I only have one of those, though.”  
“Thank you, Rey. But I don’t want to involve you in this mess. You already did much, and I will be forever grateful.”  
“If you survive, we will be even.” Teased Rey with a little grin. She gave him a little push on the shoulder. “Go. Go save your ass.”


	8. Chapter 8

Finn did his best not to think. Because if he started to think, he might find reasons to turn around and run. Finn did his best not to think. Because if he started to think, he might find out that he did not want to kill Dameron.  
Finding the address Rey had given him was not easy : it was a bit far from the city, and he had to drive in seedy neighborhoods before he ended up in front of an old looking building, surrounded by wasteland. It matched perfectly Rey’s description, so he parked his car a bit further and walked surreptitiously to the building.  
There was no one outside. Good for him. Finn looked at the windows : most of them were locked, protected by shutters. There was no way he could get through them without someone noticing. He looked up. On the first floor, there was a window that someone had forgotten to close. Finn smiled. Perfect.  
Even if the wall was not perfect for the exercise, he managed to climb it without getting caught. When he finally reached the window, he sighed in relief.  
He had to focus on what he was doing. On his hands touching the cold wall. On the wind brushing his cheeks. On his feet looking for a grip. He needed to focus on what he physically felt to avoid his thoughts. He needed to shut his brain off. Or else, he was going to drive himself crazy.  
He fell into the building, managing to not make too much noise. The room was dark, but he could see that he was in a little bathroom, and that he had fallen next to a shower. He quickly got up and walked to the door. He checked if the hallway was empty, and got out.  
One thing was sure : this place was quiet. Maybe because people were on missions. Or maybe there was not many of them. Finn could not tell. He kept looking for people, and kept hiding, even if it seemed more and more useless. There was no one to see him.  
Finally, he saw a room where the lights were switched on. He took a quick look : there was only a short woman, who was turning her back at him. Why was everything so easy ? He silently walked to her, and in less than a second, his arm was clutching her waist, his hand covering her mouth.

“Don’t try to scream and just do as I ask, and I promise I won’t do anything to you. Understood ?”

The woman nodded her approval. 

“Good. Now, you are going to take me to Poe Dameron.”

She tensed under his grip. She started to shook her head, but Finn pushed his hand harder on her mouth.

“Listen, girl. I’m not here to hurt you. I promise. I just really, really need to find Poe Dameron. Have I been clear ?”

This time, the girl nodded.

“Good. Now, I’m going to let you walk next to me without holding you. And you are not going to try to run away. Because…”

He took his gun, and pressed it on the girl’s temple, making her cry of pure fear.

“Because if you try to run, I will blow your head up.”

He took his hand off, letting her catch her breath before he grabbed her by the sleeve. The crying girl led him outside of the room, across the hallways. Finn was still holding his gun in his other hand, and he noticed that the girl kept glancing at it. They climbed some stairs, and she led him in front of a door. She knocked, not looking very confident.

“Come back later !” Yelled Dameron’s voice. Hearing him made Finn shiver.  
“Poe… It’s Rose. P-please, open the door.”

Her voice was shaky, her face covered with tears. Finn heard footsteps coming to them. For the dramatic effect, he put the barrel of the gun against Rose’s temple, making her cry harder. He felt bad for the girl. A few seconds later, the door actually opened.  
When Finn saw him again, Dameron had five little bruises on his neck. One on the left, four on the right. When Finn saw him again, Dameron had a little scar on his lip. When Finn saw him again, in his mind all hell broke loose.  
He needed to focus. Focus on the gun that laid on that girl’s head. Focus on the deadline his life depended on. He did his best remembering all the insufferable things Dameron had done to him. Reviving the hate. The only feeling he needed.  
Dameron’s eyes widened. He looked at Rose, then at Finn, and then at the gun. 

“Fuck. Rose, are you okay ?”  
“I’m not gonna hurt her.” Repeated Finn.

All of Dameron’s cocky attitude had left him. Was this idiot more concerned about that girl’s life than his own ? Suddenly, Finn heard footsteps behind Poe, coming in their direction. A few seconds later, a woman appeared next to him.  
The woman was older than them, Finn could tell because of her gray hair and her slightly wrinkled skin. She was the kind of person that was impossible to ignore. Her presence was filling the room.  
By the way Poe looked at her, Finn could tell that he really cared about her. Way more than about Finn’s hostage. Maybe she was his mom ? But none of her features matched the picture he saw on Poe’s bedside table.

“Poe ? Who is that ?” Asked the woman.

Poe threw a glance at him. His eyes were striking with anger.

“An old buddy I’d rather see in private.” Answered Poe.

He pointed at a door while looking at Finn. He nodded, and released the crying girl, who directly ran into the older woman’s arms.  
Finn followed Dameron into the room.


	9. Chapter 9

Poe locked them inside the room. He was unarmed ; Finn had a gun. The issue of this confrontation was pretty easy to guess. Dameron looked tired. On edge. So far from the insufferable guy Finn had met only a few days ago.  
He lifted his head to look at Finn. Was it a quick grin that he saw on his lips when Poe noticed that he was wearing his shirt ? Finn could not tell. He moved to get closer to Poe, his gun still pointing at him.

“So. You found me again.”  
“Yes. Guess I’m going to catch you, after all.”

Poe stood silent, holding his gaze. Finn could not stop thinking about the look they shared, when they were having sex. This look that made Finn feel like there was a bound between them.

“Was she your mom ?” Finn could not help but ask.  
“What ? No. She is my… boss, I guess.” 

Poe swallowed. Finn saw that he was trying hard to look bold again. He had taken him by surprise, and had frightened him by threatening the girl’s life. Now, he was composing himself, looking at Finn right into the eyes.

“You are never going to give up, am I right ?” Inquired Dameron. “You’re going to chase me till I die into your arms, is that it ?”  
“It’s not like I have much of a choice…”  
“You chose to accept this damned money ! No one is forcing you !”

At this moment, what Finn wanted to tell him was that maybe. Maybe if he had woken up in his arms, maybe if he had kissed him once more, maybe he would have called Ren and dropped the job off before his client had the chance to pressure him. But he just could not.

“If you are not dead by tomorrow morning, I’m going to be wanted. Ren will accuse me of attempting murder against him. If you are not dead by tomorrow, then I will die.”

Poe’s eyebrows lifted. He opened his mouth to speak, it seemed like nothing could get out of his mouth. All of his efforts to look confident again vanished. At this moment, he seemed to realize that Finn’s motivations had changed.  
He sat on one of the room’s chair - or rather he let himself fall on it. He avoided looking at Finn. He looked like a convict. Seeing him looking so pitiful made Finn’s heart flinch. 

“So, I guess you are not letting me go, this time.”  
“I have to. I- I’m sorry.”

Finn’s voice broke. The twitching of his stomach was back, eating him from the inside. Everything was hurting. His bones, his skin, his head. Nothing felt right.  
Dameron got up to face Finn. Again, their faces were so close, Finn had to repress the rushing desire of kissing him. Poe looked so desperate. Afraid. 

“You are doing the wrong thing, Finn. Ren.. he is the bad guy in this story. Do you have any idea of what he is doing ? That guy wants to built prisoners camps ! People need to fight against him. I’m part of them, just like my parents were - they were killed by people just like him ! I’m ready to die for what I believe in. But not like that, not without a fight, not without being helpful…”

Finn could feel the tears Poe was holding back pouring into his voice. But Finn could not save him. He needed to hammer this thought into his own brain. He could not spare Dameron’s life. He needed to save his own.  
But what was going to be his life like, once he killed Dameron ? Could he still live, with the memory of Poe’s last breath against his skin, with the reminiscence of feeling his body loosening up against his ? Could he still live, knowing he had killed a man he had kissed with such passion, and to who he had made love senselessly ?  
Poe seemed to had given up. He had the eyes of someone who was facing death, with no chance of escaping. In a foolish last attempt, he grabbed Finn’s collar, moving him closer, so their noses where touching. 

“Please, Finn… I know that you are a good person. I felt it. When we… I felt it. Don’t tell me you didn’t, please…”  
“I have no choice.”

His tone was hash. But a single tear rolled across his cheek. Poe looked at him, and his expression changed. He looked like he understood. He just nodded, and bend over to kiss Finn’s cheek, just where the tears was. His lips were so soft against his skin. It made Finn’s chest hurt even harder.

“Please… don’t hurt any of them. Just leave by the window. They won’t run after you. Please…” Poe started to cry for good. “And take my body with you. I don’t… I don’t want them to see me like that. Leia has already lost her husband and her son… She can’t see me dead. Please. Spare them a little.”

Poe laid his forehead on Finn’s. His free hand - the one who was not holding a gun - reached for Dameron’s cheek, rubbing out his tears, his fingers caressing his skin.  
At this moment, he fully understood that Poe Dameron was more than a name that he had to wipe off of earth. He was a person ; a person who abandoned all pride to defend what he loved, a person who carried a picture of his deceased parents with him, a person who thought about giving a shirt to the guy he hooked up with before leaving.  
Poe Dameron was more than a name : he was a laugh, a smell, a gaze. And he was so alive. And he could not take that away from him. He did not wanted to. Because he happened to like all of it. And he wanted more. More smiles, more touches, more kisses. He wanted more of Poe Dameron than he would have imagined.  
He dropped his gun on the floor. Poe stepped back in astonishment. They both looked at each other, exhausted, lost, desperate. Finn knew that he was going to sign his death sentence. And yet.   
Yet he reach for Dameron. Yet he grabbed him by the waist and pulled him closer.  
And yet he kissed him hopelessly.


	10. Chapter 10

He called Rey at dawn. She said that his face was all over the tv. Every media was talking about the new public enemy, who attempted murder against the known candidate for presidency Kylo Ren. An important reward was promised to the one who would bring him to the police. It was a dead or alive situation.  
And what amazed Finn the most was how deeply he did not care.  
This morning, he had woken up in Dameron’s arms. They spent the day planning on how they were going to escape. Finn was letting himself believe it could work. But he was no fool. Sooner or later, they were going to catch him. And the agent who would have the privilege to shoot him was going to receive a shiny medal, that he was going to hang on top of his desk and show to all of his friends with pride.  
Finn barely slept that night. Each time he was finally able to dive into sleep, he got overwhelmed with awful nightmares. In some, the ghosts of his former victims came to haunt him. In others, Dameron was dying in his arms.  
Poe barely slept that time. Because every time Finn woken up screaming and drenched in sweat, he was right there. Holding him. Hugging him tight against his body. Whispering him kind words, telling him that everything was going to be alright.  
Around the fourth brutal awakening, Finn turned to face Poe. For a moment, he did not say anything. He just looked at him, so aware of how beautiful each of his features was, how harmoniously it all blent together. His face was a symphony, a balance of deep and smooth, the place where lightness and darkness met to create a masterpiece.

“Why are you so nice to me ?” Whispered Finn.  
“Why wouldn’t I be ?”  
“Maybe because I tried to kill you.”  
“Did you do it ?”  
“No. But I killed others. And if I hadn’t.. if I hadn’t… I would’ve killed you too.”  
“Do you regret it ?”  
“Now I think about those people. About how their last thoughts must have been.. filled with fear. I think about the people who loved them. Most of my victims were really shitty people, you know. But… yeah. I regret every decision I have made. And I can’t even feel sorry for myself now. I’m going to get caught, and I honestly deserve it.”

Poe stood silent, playing with Finn’s fingers, looking at the void.

“How many persons did you kill ?”  
“Why do you want to know ?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“Well… depends. In the army or after ?”  
“After.”  
“Five. Short career.”  
“Why did you start to do that ?”

Finn sighted. He took a moment to think about Dameron’s question, while still hugging him tight. His thumb was brushing Poe’s arm without even noticing it.

“When I got off of the military, I did not know what to do. I always lived for fighting. I was basically raised as a soldier. That’s the only thing I know how to do, actually. Use a gun. Fight. Kill. On top of that, being a soldier made me cynical, and I started to see the world in a manichean way. Good guys. Bad guys. That was what I was used to. So, when my first client came to me, I guess I saw things that way. The guy was the good one, asking me to kill the bad one. So I just did it. It was kind of a downward cycle : I was asked to kill people, I saw that they were indeed awful, so I assumed that I was doing the right thing. Killing the bad guys. And then… you. You were insufferable, brash, irritating…”  
“And incredibly good looking.” Added Poe.   
“Shut up.” Chuckled Finn. “So. You were basically a pain in the ass. But you were not… like them. You were not disgusting, or fundamentally mean. You did not seemed like someone who actually deserved to die, even if I didn’t saw it right away. Or maybe I didn’t wanted to see it. I mean… you were really getting on my nerves.”  
“Enough to kill me ?”  
“Poe, you have no idea how annoying you are.”

Poe kissed him again. Poe kissed him asleep. And that time, Finn did not wake until daylight.  
___________________

Flashing lights and sirens were what had awoken him. It did not surprised him. He just thought they were early. And he wondered how did they find him.  
The only person who knew where he was was Rey. Did she betray him ? Or… he could not even think about another situation. He would rather think that she had willingly betrayed him. That hurted less than imagining her in trouble because of him.   
Dameron got up in panic. He kept muttering “shit, shit” while reaching to a bag that was hidden under his bed. Finn did not know what to do. He was just standing there. Looking at him, trying to save their life. Looking at him with resignation. 

“Don’t move. They are just after me, right now. They cannot hurt yall if I surrender. I will pretend that the building was empty.”  
“What ? No !”

Finn was not an idiot. In the building, he could hear everyone moving, running, shouting. They were fleeing. Probably by an emergency exit. Only Poe was still there. With him. Finn wanted to shout at him. Screaming at him to leave too. But he quietly approached him. He put his hand on Dameron’s cheek. There gaze met, and he held it.

“I wish we had more time.” Wept Finn.  
“Stop that… We are going to run. We can do this. And you could join us. Finn, we can do this.”

Finn shook his head. 

“You said it yourself. You cannot die without fighting for your cause. What do you think they are going to do, down there ? Throw flowers at us ? If you get out of this building with me, you will die. In a useless way.”  
“You can just run away with us !”  
“For what ? If they don’t catch me now, they will run after us. The others got lucky and had time to run away before getting caught. But what if next time they aren’t so lucky ?”  
“Finn… Please…” Cried Poe.

Finn caressed his cheek. Dameron was not letting go of his gaze. 

“This is your fight. You can’t risk it for me.”  
“What if I want to ?”  
“Don’t be silly. Maybe the next hitman hired to get rid of you will be hotter than me.”  
“Shut up !” Shouted Poe, bursting into tears.

Finn held him in his arms. He could feel Dameron’s body shaking under his. 

“You can’t risk your whole team’s life for me. You can’t risk your life for me. If you are right about Ren, the world will need people like you to fight. And, who knows ? Maybe an handsome rebel could break in prison and help me to escape.”

It made Poe laugh through the tears. It felt like a goodbye - even maybe a farewell. But Finn needed to keep going. He kissed Dameron’s forehead, and Poe got on the tip of his toes to kiss his lips, with such a passion that Finn had to grab his jacket to avoid falling. When they parted, Finn stepped back. He had to. 

“Run. You can still catch them.” Whispered Finn.

Poe nodded, still crying. He grabbed his bag, and turned one last time to look at Finn. If he had been selfish, he would have ran with him. It did not mattered if they kept hunting them. He would have followed Poe until death. But it was not right. And he knew it.  
So he left the room. Hoping Dameron would not follow him. He ran through the floors of the building, his gun in one hand. If he could manage to run, he was not going to lose the chance.   
Across an hallway, he ran into a cop. He did not think : he shot him. And ran. But the noise alerted them. He heard loud footsteps coming to him. He knew he did not stand a chance.   
But he just hoped that Dameron had the time to run.  
Less than a minute was enough for him to be surrounded by cops. All aiming at him. He spun on the spot. There were at least ten of them. And he had maybe two bullets left. It was time to surrender.

The instructions were clear ; the same as always. And it certainly did not include falling in love with his target.  
The instructions were clear ; the same as always. And it certainly did not include sacrificing himself for him.


End file.
